I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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