Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Four minutes until I can fart!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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