So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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