Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
