toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
