We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Randomize
