I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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