A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Randomize
