Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
