found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
