i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
