if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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