Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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