I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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