i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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