cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
