u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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