where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
