i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
this boner is exhausting
worst night to have a conscience
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Randomize
