I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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