Fuck appropriateness.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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