You made me cry and you don't even care
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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