FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
