Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
