Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
