Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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