its not stalking. its research.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
