where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
