Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
