New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Randomize
