...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
