So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
