How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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