I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
