The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
