I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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