Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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