Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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