I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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