I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm at about main and main street
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
