Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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