so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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