Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Randomize
