OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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