my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
