i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
