Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
