You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
