mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
