The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
