Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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